In English, every past action uses "have": I have eaten, I have gone, I have fallen. French does the same with most verbs: j’ai mangé. But then comes je suis allé, literally "I am gone". Why?
English actually used to do this too. Old texts say "the Lord is come" or "he is risen", with "be" instead of "have" for verbs of movement. French simply kept the habit. And the good news is that the verbs that take être follow a logic you can picture.
🏠 The house of être
Picture a house and a life story. You're born (naître), you arrive (arriver), you go in (entrer), go up the stairs (monter), fall (tomber), come down (descendre), go out (sortir), leave (partir), come back (rentrer, retourner), stay (rester), become (devenir), and one day you die (mourir). Along the way you go and come (aller, venir) and pass by (passer).
What these verbs share: the subject itself moves or changes state, and nothing receives the action. Every other verb takes avoir.
| Pairs to remember | Passé composé |
|---|
| aller / venir | je suis allé, je suis venu |
| arriver / partir | je suis arrivé, je suis parti |
| entrer / sortir | je suis entré, je suis sorti |
| monter / descendre | je suis monté, je suis descendu |
| naître / mourir | je suis né, il est mort |
| rester, tomber, devenir, rentrer, retourner, passer | je suis resté, je suis tombé, je suis devenu… |
One more group always takes être: pronominal verbs, the ones with se. Je me suis levé (I got up), elle s’est souvenue (she remembered).
Many English-speaking learners memorise the list with the acronym DR & MRS VANDERTRAMP: Devenir, Revenir, Monter, Rester, Sortir, Venir, Aller, Naître, Descendre, Entrer, Rentrer, Tomber, Retourner, Arriver, Mourir, Partir. It works, but the picture of a life story in a house is easier to recall mid-sentence than sixteen letters, and it also tells you why a verb takes être.
🔀 The twist: one verb, two auxiliaries
Six of those verbs switch to avoir when they have a direct object: monter, descendre, sortir, rentrer, passer, retourner. The logic still holds: as soon as something receives the action, it's avoir.
- Je suis monté au troisième. → I went up to the third floor. / J’ai monté les valises. → I carried the suitcases up.
- Elle est sortie. → She went out. / Elle a sorti le chien. → She took the dog out.
- Nous sommes passés par Lyon. → We went through Lyon. / Nous avons passé une semaine à Lyon. → We spent a week in Lyon.
✍️ Agreement: the invisible -e
With être, the past participle agrees with the subject, like an adjective: add -e for a feminine subject and -s for a plural one. Il est allé, elle est allée, ils sont allés, elles sont allées.
Most of the time you can't hear it: allé and allée sound the same. That's exactly why English speakers forget it in writing. With avoir, the participle normally doesn't agree with the subject: elle a mangé, never ❌ elle a mangée.
📖 A real example: the story "Inondation"
Let's watch both auxiliaries in a real text. In "Inondation" (The Flood) on Linguami, a woman remembers a rainy day from when she was little:
Quand j’étais petite, j’allais à la maternelle. Un jour, il s’est mis à pleuvoir très fort. La pluie n’a pas cessé de toute la journée. Nous ne sommes pas sortis et nous avons joué dans la salle.
- s’est mis: se mettre is pronominal, so être.
- n’a pas cessé, avons joué: ordinary verbs, so avoir.
- ne sommes pas sortis: sortir with no object, so être. The participle agrees with nous, the group of children: mixed group, so masculine plural, sortis.
Later, her mother carries her home through the flooded street:
Alors elle m’a mise sur ses épaules et nous sommes parties à la maison.
Nous sommes parties: this time nous means the mother and her daughter, two women, so feminine plural, -es. The same ending returns a few lines later: Quand nous sommes arrivées à la maison…
And a bonus for the curious: elle m’a mise. That's avoir, and yet the participle agrees! The reason is that the direct object m’ (the girl) comes before the verb. It's the next step in agreement, covered in the lesson on past participle agreement below.
In the full text, click any verb to see its translation and grammatical form. For another short example, "Moi et les insectes" has a lovely one: des papillons sont sortis des chrysalides → butterflies came out of the chrysalises.
⚠️ Common mistakes English speakers make
1. avoir with a verb of movement
❌ J’ai allé au cinéma. ✅ Je suis allé au cinéma. "I have gone" pulls you toward avoir. If the subject is the one moving, it's être.
2. Forgetting agreement in writing
❌ Marie est parti hier. ✅ Marie est partie hier. You won't hear the difference, but a French reader will see it.
3. être with a direct object
❌ Je suis sorti la poubelle. ✅ J’ai sorti la poubelle. As soon as there's an object, even a verb from the house of être switches to avoir.
4. avoir with a reflexive verb
❌ Je m’ai levé à sept heures. ✅ Je me suis levé à sept heures. Every verb with se takes être.
5. "I have been" as je suis été
❌ Je suis été malade. ✅ J’ai été malade. Surprise: être itself takes avoir in the passé composé.
🚀 How to master the passé composé
- The passé composé with avoir (A2): regular and irregular past participles.
- The passé composé with être (A2): the full list of verbs and agreement with the subject.
- Pronominal (reflexive) verbs (A2), which always take être.
- Past participle agreement (B1), for the elle m’a mise puzzle.
Read next: Passé Composé vs Imparfait. Once you've built the passé composé, the next question is when to use it.
More on this topic: The French Subjunctive Explained: When You Need It and Why (soit revenu: the same être or avoir choice in the subjunctive).
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